Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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