Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
