Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
