I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
