he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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