Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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