I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
