jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
