Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
