Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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