I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Your cock deserves a montage
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
