Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
