I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
