4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
