so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
