He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
