STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
