singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
