i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
