Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
