You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
