Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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