Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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