he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
