We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
