Will you blow on my dice?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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