So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
