spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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