man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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