once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
