I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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