Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
