hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
