As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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