Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
