So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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