my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
