I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
