I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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