Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
