I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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