Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want a musical about memes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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