I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
