Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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