I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
