Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
