Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
