I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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