It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am midnight drunk by noon
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
