Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
