K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
