I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
