i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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