Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
